Allow passing args to ssh (#19336)

This is useful for passing a custom identity file, jump hosts, etc.

Unlike with the v1 feature, we won't support `gh`/`gcloud` ssh wrappers
(yet?). I think the right way of supporting those would be to let
extensions provide remote projects.

Closes #19118

Release Notes:

- SSH remoting: restored ability to set arguments for SSH

Cargo.lock

@@ -9126,6 +9126,7 @@ dependencies = [
  "rpc",
  "serde",
  "serde_json",
+ "shlex",
  "smol",
  "tempfile",
  "thiserror",